Before you trust your Girlfriend; A boy’s guide.

Trust issues cannot be exclusively explained and understood that is why I grew up blocking my ears from any advice on relationships. I am this guy who loves propositional logic, experimental evidence and finding out life concepts on my own. If you adopt this approach, you are likely to suffer multiple heartbreaks; life is too short to learn from your own mistakes, so I learn from others! This story is about one of those new things that I learnt from ‘others’- a someone’s girlfriend. I felt heartbroken as if she was my own girlfriend and I think before you trust your girlfriend, you should consider what I witnessed.

It was during one of my journeys from the Coastal city of Mombasa to the Kenya’s capital; Nairobi. On pleasure Safaris I prefer using the Modern Coast Coach, it offers me that great feeling of comfort plus I love sleep-travelling having regular naps. I boarded the bus half an hour to departure time. Before departure time there was a sweet love scene that happened between two teens on their early twenties. It left every passenger believing true love exists in abundance, like Jesus’ love for the Church!

I drag my bag into the luggage lane on the bus rooftop before I sat on seat number 14; the window seat. Mombasa was hot as usual like the 17 year old neighbor’s daughter who kept on staring at me on the balcony back at home! I think I don’t trust these kids. I was thinking aloud just when an Asian chic passed besides our stationary bus driving a hummer H3 Car on Kenya’s hunger stricken roads. These are Women! Your hand should have something for you to be handsome! Heavens! The Asian chic was travelling to Nairobi too. As if angels were within my line of thoughts she boarded the same bus and…….and she sat next to my seat, seat number 15! The H3 car drove back; it was her mum who had come to see her off. She had no travel bag just a small, silvery leather handbag, a Samsung Edge S6 and another electronic gadget which seemed like an advanced power bank. I promised myself to remain dumb throughout the journey as I took out my X-Tigi feature phone and muted it without giving it an explanation.

Then the drama started. A pair of teens, a lady and a dude boarded the bus. They sat in exact the opposite seats like mine and Nehah. By the way my seatmate, the Asian chic was called Nehah, she told me later without prompting. The new pair that sat opposite our seats looked like a perfect match. The lady was sculpted to suit the dude and the dude was a cool match too. Have you seen such pairs? Those are the type you feel like they deserve each other and you would not love to interfere with God’s plan. For unknown reasons the chic kept on hugging the dude with some inaudible words like, “I will miss you babe!”

It didn’t take me long to realize that the dude was not travelling. He had come to see off his sweetheart, his lollipop and his heartbeat. I could bet those are the sugary endearments he called her by. It is Love! The dude would just hold the chic tight and whisper into her left ear, “I will miss you too babe”. The drama continued until one man could take it no longer. He kept on glancing at this hot steamy teen couple as they were sobbing on the idea that they will miss each other. Just as they were about to kiss, the bus’ engine came into life, a sign of separation. The dude will have to remain. The kiss never materialized as all passengers were taking their seats. I felt sorry for them at least I could have watched a live soap opera.

Streams of passengers stormed into their respective seats as they had been allocated during booking. The dude stood ready to make an exit only to be stopped by her queen’s loud scream, “Honey!”  All travellers’ attention seized towards her. She then took off from her seat and matched towards her boyfriend near the exit. What happened next I missed because I was buying a mango juice locally branded as Afya over the window just when Nehah screamed, ‘’Jeez! They kissed!”


“Yeah, they kissed. It was so sweat. Everyone was watching except you. You missed that!”

“Too bad I missed the climax of the movie.” That line was meant to show Nehah that I am not ignoring her beautiful presence.

I just noticed Nehah was this talkative. By all means I knew I would enjoy this journey, seven hours of night travel to Nairobi with Nehah as my seatmate. I was avoiding staring at her shallow dimples and her hairy palms, and for God’s sake I had promised my girlfriend to remain faithful.

The lady walked back to her seat as her boyfriend exited with a, “Take care babe and have a safe journey.” The girl didn’t reply. She found the word goodbye suicidal. Her red eyes from the goodbye sobs were a summary of how long they have been together and grown deeper into each other in their relationship. As the bus was making a departure the woman seated in front of us was murmuring something suggesting modern teens have eroded their morals. How can you kiss in a bus standing in front of grownups the age of your dad and mum? Some argued, but some were supportive, they called it a teen’s phase and that it will fade someday. I had missed this episode of drama; apparently it was like a series movie. Another episode didn’t take long to be released. The same actress, our lover lady!

At last, it felt nice the bus made a departure. My light sweat from the Island’s high temperature was sweeping away as the bus accelerated. In Mombasa the hustle is real! I told myself as I peeped out to a line of kids hawking mineral water. As I peeped through the back window, the emergency door, I noticed the lady’s lover was still stranded looking at the bus from behind in disbelief. The lady stood and waved her lover goodbye through the Emergence exit. I was still in utter shock that a dude can be that in love, stigmatized. His image grew smaller and smaller as the bus progressed until he was no more. ‘We are gone baby’ I guess that is what the lady texted him next.

Silence presumed as the Coastal sun was setting at a low altitude. We were already out of Mombasa. Then Nehah broke the silence with a funny pick up line.

“Someone is silent!”

You are also silent Nehah.

“See how you pronounce my name, like our gateman! By the way you didn’t tell me yours”.

I am Samuel, I think Sammy can do.

“That is a cute name!”

I didn’t see the cuteness in my name so I just went back to my silence. I felt like opening up, ’Nehah stop your flattery, I know my class’ but that was just a thought, thoughts are secrets.

I scanned my eyes through the whole bus, people were beginning to sleep. The next bus stop station is in three hours where we will be given 15 minutes of taking a light supper. That would be around 2100hours. My eyes lastly settled on our drama queen in our opposite seat. I wish I could re-describe exactly how cute she was but to sum up all details; if someone would have asked me to define beauty I would have stood up and pointed at her. I also had a chance to see her seatmate, a huge guy who from appearance I could tell the dude had a gymnasium in one of his rooms at home. He was silent, composed and had some beats by Dre headphones on. Just like all of us he had witnessed the Chemistry between her seatmate and her Mombasa boyfriend. He was dumb quiet just shaking his head to and from I guess he was listening to some abusive hip hop tracks, most probably the Carter album.

Nehah received several phone calls which ended with, “We have reached at…” then she would mention the place we were in. Mostly she talked in Hindi so trust me I didn’t get other words. The only Hindi I know is when watching Bollywood movies of course with subtitles! When she settled from making calls and texting Nehah also had a nap and the whole bus fell silent. That is when the dude in the opposite seat initiated a conversation with the cute love-cry lady. I could overhear.

“That was amazing, I mean with that guy in Mombasa”, the dude started.

Please don’t remind me of Nicholas, you will make me cry again.

“Ouch! Sorry. He is Nicholas, and you?”

I am Rose.

“Rose flowers!” the dude exclaimed. “I got a little sister at home, she is also Rose, and so I love calling her rose flowers”.

That sounds nice, okay permission granted. You can call me Rose flowers.

The two continued to giggle and laugh together. Women and their memories, just few minutes, the Nicholas guy was forgotten. The new guy made her laugh loudly and at times Nehah would wake up and go back to sleep. The Modern Coast bus slid on the Nairobi-Mombasa highway at a high speed. I loved the feeling. I enjoy travelling. I think I loved Nehah’s presence too. Her silence was enough connection.

“Am sorry Sam I have been silent all through!” that was Nehah when she woke up as we were nearing Voi town. “Not silent, you have been asleep. Which I think is good for you, especially if sleeping is the source of your beauty and charms”. That was an involuntary flirt.

“So you can flirt!? Jeez! I am about to enjoy this conversation, just keep following that trend”

Nehah for God’s sake I thought Indians are born with their boyfriends. No more flirting!

She withheld laughter. Her cheeks betrayed her, two dimples protruded out with milky teeth all exposed. She was about to laugh out loud but then she formed a sentence, “And for God’s sake Indian ladies are not supposed to board public vehicles!”

Yeah true!

“My case is different. Mum and dad had a love marriage and I will also have a love marriage Insha’Allah!” She was Muslim. “Plus I preferred using the bus because am going back to School; I do Financial Accounting in Strathmore University, what about you!?” That question caught me unprepared. “Well, I am also a student in Moi University. So when will you be back in Mombasa?” I threw an answer and a question to avoid an array of educational questions. “I am not quite sure; I will be flying after this semester.” I never bothered to ask when and to where, as I told you she is not my class.

Meanwhile the other pair in our opposite seat was also silent but something fishy was going on. The dude had given the lady her headphones and he had held her on her chest. It is Nehah who asked me to have a look at the new formed couple. Just a few miles to our first bus stop, they were kissing uncontrollably! They were high on something and their seat started to make funny noises. Nehah in disbelief was quick to ask me, “What are they doing? I thought the lady have left her boyfriend in Mombasa!”

“Am also confused as you are, is this not the lady who was crying for her boyfriend!?”

“She is the one!” Nehah confirmed.  The dude was navigating his hands throughout her body and the lady enjoyed every bruise. I thought about the other dude in the other end of Mombasa and I felt my heart heavy. The unexpected happened; the lady abandoned her seat and came on top of the dude in what seemed to be a porn shoot. Good thing they had their clothes on. Nehah enjoyed watching this. I took my phone out, switched it on and out of desperation I texted my girl,” Babe what are you doing now|”. She didn’t reply. This whole issue of trust freaks me off! I was just imagining it was happening to me. I called my girl’s phone, the call went through but no one picked. At this time I think I knew what she was doing, probably having great moments with some other dude.

“Sammy you are crying!” Nehah saw something like tears on my face. True to her words when I wiped my face it was salty wet. “Ouch come on! You need to be strong; I thought cheating is normal among Africans”. At least there was a loophole of talking, “Are you being a racist?” I inquired. Nehah changed her accent to her vernacular as she struggled to explain what she meant. I didn’t get her at all as I was still watching the cheating couple making out in disbelief.

When the bust reached its first stop at Mtito Andei, they were the first to match out with the dude crossing his hands on the lady’s waist like a safety belt. I dialed my girl’s number again she didn’t pick. ‘I won’t trust these ladies again!’ I never knew that I had said this loud enough for Nehah to hear. “What! You cannot use one girl to generalize all the angels out there. Did your girlfriend offend you or something?” She was right but I ignored. “Honestly? Did I tell you I have a girlfriend in the first place?”  I could trace a smile in her face. “Jeez!! You mean you are single? Let’s alight and have a meal. Remember we have only 15 minutes. And because you lied you are single, I will pay the bill for both of us!”

True to her words Nehah ordered a full fried chicken, some salads and chips. Rose and her new boyfriend were sitting in a far table on the second Flat screen they seem happy together holding hands across the table. Someone is somewhere trusting that his girlfriend is faithful. I thought. I took my phone out again and dialed my girlfriend’s number. It went unanswered again. I never knew that Nehah had been observing all my attempts to reach my girl. She offered some advice, “Sam, if you ask me to dedicate a song for you guess which song I will dedicate for you.” I realized that Nehah was cute than I had thought earlier. Her long black hair was enough bait. “I have no idea, which song would you dedicate for me?” She never seems to struggle for a choice. She went ahead and suggested, “Let Her Go by Passenger!”  We still had four hours of travel and God knows when hormones meet lack of trust what yields up. We boarded back to the bus but this time I felt transformed, transformed for the worst.

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